before I forget ... I was flipping through the channels and guess what movie was on...JARHEAD...LOL.. I laughed out loud.. my H says what's so funny.. I just said..oh nothing.. it was hysterical!!
i cannot believe that she is actually letting them spend the night at om house.. That is just not right!!! She needs to snap out of it...She is a first class loser.. and forgetting about her own child's bday.. ummm I don't want to type what Im thinking about her right now????? Is there any other day more important!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So there you have.. Jar.. you can go on with your life and find something worth being with, she is truly a disturb person. I know how hard it is for the kids, but something has got to give.
You cannot continue to play these games of hers on and off with the affection, meanwhile she's probably screwing the om.. im sorry for being so blunt but she is winner.
You need to find a seperate life away from her. It could be just going out on a regular basis when you don't have the kids or just stop with the hugs and stuff with her.. don't give her hope that will just string you along even longer.
I worry that this will make your crash harder than before with her empty words and gestures.
Take care my friend and take care of you.
tal
ps.. love the goonies,was my favorite movie at one time!!
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
"I've been thinking quite a bit over the last month and I've come to some realizations. While I admit that I wasn't the perfect husband, I feel like I've been more accomodating than necessary in regards to you and OM. I'm stunned that you can "fall in love" with someone so quickly after the 7 years we have been together.
I've made some serious mistakes in the last few weeks by giving you the opportunity to have it both ways.. the offer for kisses, the hugs, etc. I can't do that anymore. I feel dirty and used when that happens. Especially when it is returned by you spending more time with him.
You will always hold a special place in my heart.. no question about that. I need to move on. It's not fair to me.
I will maintain a level of friendship with you as it relates to the girls. That's only fair for them.
I wish you and OM the very best of luck.
If for whatever reason you decide you would like to work things out between us, then we can sit down and talk about it. I can't make any promises though."
Well done Jar. Have you read James Dobson's Love Must Be Tough? This letter reminds me of what he says about opening the cage door and releasing the WAS. It takes guts to do this...
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
AMEN!!!!!!!!! Oh i am so darn proud of you marine...ok no seriously that is exactly what I would have said! You said it wonderfully..
I am really really glad that you set these boundaries with her, I guess it was what I was trying to tell you all along.
If this comes down good or bad, you did your best at keeping the door open for her to come home and work things out. You tried and yet she just doesn't get it. You are a stronger person now then you were then. Nobody deserves to get treated like this.
I am very interested in what she is going to come up with next. What excuse she is going to give you to continue with her game.
Keep me updated... and again I do know how hard that was writing to her, but you needed to do it, it was time she had a hard lesson.
(((hugs)))
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Click on it and then go to the bottom of the page and look at related questions, the last question. It is so similar what you have decided to do. See even the experts agree with you.
Last edited by Yoyowife; 11/27/0708:00 PM.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Thanks all.. I have her passwd, so I've debated deleting it, but I feel I have to set expectations.
I was reading Dobson's book and used it for inspiration. Reading it made me feel stupid for what I've been putting up with.
I feel this is the best place for me to be. Set boundaries/expectations and see how she responds. I honestly feel like I need to put some space between us.
Thanks all.. I have her passwd, so I've debated deleting it, but I feel I have to set expectations.
I was reading Dobson's book and used it for inspiration. Reading it made me feel stupid for what I've been putting up with.
I feel this is the best place for me to be. Set boundaries/expectations and see how she responds. I honestly feel like I need to put some space between us.
Exactly!! Im glad. this is the best place for you. Reality check for her!!
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Some other things that have contributed.. her disregard for the girls.. She's in college, and I've found out that instead of doing her work, she's been buying papers online. Then she complains about not having money. D5 also told me that on Sunday when W stopped by, they were at OM's house while her friend babysat the kids. OM was elsewhere.
W said they were hanging out with the friend, but she neglected to tell me that they were at OM's house. I kind of felt like she was "cheating" on him by coming to see me.
Who knows.. maybe this will drive her further away.
I just don't want to be her doormat anymore. I've liked the attention I've gotten, but it's a slap in the face when she turns around and goes to him.
