agreed with HB. He wants D, correct? Then move towards it, by separating. If he does not want you as a wife, why kiss you? Yes, set some boundaries, calmly, but not cold. I like what HB said that you need the space and it is not considerate to suck you back in the drama. He wants a D, so it is best that both act as if we are separating. It would be nice if he can respect your privacy by not coming into the room unannounced, no kissing, no hugging, basically act as friends. You two can divide up childcare issues (who has who what nights) so you can have free time to go out (and do go out, even just to the bookstore, or stay in your room to read a book/watch tv). I would not act cold or nasty, but calmly tell him this is what he wants and you are respecting his wishes (not in a blaming way). Your h does not know what D really means and what leaving you really means because he has not thought about it. When my H moved out and i found out he was with OW, I sent him a letter telling himI want no contact with him until he can figure this stuff out. (He asked me to call him a lot when he told me he was living ALONE!!). Not when he is with OW!!! I handed him the kids on weekends and said bye, without saying anything. no chit chat. I know this will be very tough for you. So sorry that you have to go through this. Take care.
