I am fading from the boards, slowly but surely. I find that being away from them is healthy for me and I don't feel like I have a whole lot of useful advice to offer so I think it is natural that I am detaching from the bb.
My son turned 13 last week and the whole family was here for the party. We had it at a wonderful local wine bar and it was really great. Everyone was agog at how much weight I'd lost and told me so many times that I looked better than I've looked in years. It was great. My kids made me so proud, performing and speaking in front of a crowd and looking adorable. I saw M's family and also 4 friends from Chicago who I have not spoken to in 2 years. It was all fine.
All this time I felt I had "lost" these people but I realized after seeing them, they are not a loss--they are not good friends, they are not my family and I don't miss them. I still love my MIL and we have stayed in touch but I don't care about the rest of them, they mean nothing to me.
I was totally friendly and happy and felt and acted as though life is good. The Chicago friends asked me what I was doing these days so I got to tell them about the knitting and how well thats going for me.
All I can say is that it was great to have a moment to shine--to give those people who abandoned me in my time of need a chance to walk away with their jaws dropped and their heads shaking in disbelief--I think they expected a very different woman than the one they saw. The best revenge is a life well lived (and looking hot doesn't hurt).
Tomorrow I have my divorce mediation. I'm not feeling nervous--I feel strong and resolved. I'm willing to walk away without getting it resolved if I don't get what I want. I'll update you all when I know more.
