Ouch! Thought I was so much stronger!

[Hurtin4certain]

Today is my anniversary :-( 7 years we've been married. For some reason Im really nervous, I sent W a small flower basket to be delivered today just letting her know I havent forgotten.

Hope that isnt viewed as too much pursuing.

Lord, give me the strength.

[Yoyowife]

I think it was very thoughtful.

[stumped1245]

You know what else helped me, I had to learn to just be who I was regardless of how my H was acting. This way, I was still happy because I was being ME. So, if I felt like calling just to say 'hi', I did. If I felt like wishing him a happy b'day, I did. BECAUSE IT MADE ME FEEL GOOD - NOT HIM! ;-)

The other thing I realized as well, was that I had to stop coming to this site for a little while because I learned that it caused me to FOCUS WAY TOO MUCH on my situation. However, it was only after I began doing the things I needed to do for myself.

It is SO EASY to focus on the wrong that our spouses do, however, LIFE IS SO MUCH SIMPLER & MORE ENJOYABLE when we focus on the things that make us happy, ignore their negative behaviors (PRAYER HELPS HERE!... LOL - Prayer & God giving me the strength not to KICK HIS BUTT!....LOL)

I believe you all will do just wonderfully! May not come overnight - but definitely does come! Hang in there!

[Hurtin4certain]

Im trying to keep myself from having any expectations in regards to my W getting flowers today.

Im trying to force myself to beleive that I will get zero response what-so-ever.

Geez, this sucks.

[undercoverwife]

OMG...

I just read that it's your anniversary.

I don't know the right words to say to you...but I wanted to send my good thoughts and wishes to you. I hope today is better than you expect.

[stumped1245]

Instead of focusing on whehter or not to have expectations of her call, focus on how good it made you feel to send her flowers.

Remember, focus on GOOD, period. Not always easy, but doable.

Also, remember that you were a happy and enjoyable person before you two ever got together. And YOU ARE STILL THAT SAME PERSON. Have you aged, sure. Have you made mistakes, sure. But deep down, you're still the lovable person she first knew and you just need to remember that. I'm saying a little prayer for you.

YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.

[Hurtin4certain]

Thanks Stumped... your words have a calming affect on me. Much appreciated.

H4C

[SueS]

Stumped-

I've been reading what you've been posting. WOW!! You are one honest, positive and inspirational person. Please keep posting!

H4C- Happy Anniversary. I do feel for you. There have been a lot of us that have hit that point here. Anniversaries that come and go with little to no acknowledgment. I had too high of expectations from my H on that day.

Have a great day!! It's tough, but you're doing great.

SueS

[Hurtin4certain]

OK...W just got flowers and sent me an IM. She said I was the biggest sweatheart and she couldnt beleive I would do that. She said the flowers were beautiful. I told her it was something I wanted to do and it made me feel good when I ordered them.

She said she had to run so I told her have a good day and happy anniversary. She replied "Happy Anniversary!"

I know I shouldnt read to much into this because just a few days ago she was sleeping with OM (who is now, I presume back in Vegas) but it really has me analyzing.

Any ideas?

[Yoyowife]

Just bask in the good feelings that you got from her today, because we never know how they will act tomorrow. Just continue to be laid back and let her come to you. All we can do it is take it day by day. We have to monitor and adjust.

I'm glad she was receptive to the flowers!