To me "giving up" and "moving on with my life" means that I give up on her and hope for our relationship. I'm not ready to do that yet, but sometimes the thought that I could be happy with someone else is easier to deal with than the reality that I'm living through now.
You can choose to get a life without necessarily giving up on your marriage. You can choose to give up pursuit without giving up hope. I really like what Heimlich wrote:
Originally Posted By: Heimllich
Just because you move on with your life and start making decisions based on what's good for YOU doesn't mean that it's over.
Start living YOUR life. You're only in limbo because you allow yourself to be in limbo. Someone wrote a month or two ago that we all make our own prisons. We construct constraints on our actions based on fear -- of losing our spouses, of the unknown, of whatever your own personal fears are -- when all we have to do is realize that the door to the prison is unlocked. Open the door. Walk out.
Get a new hobby. Be cheerful. See a funny movie. You can still want to reconcile, even if you are happy. Wanting to reconcile does not mean you must be miserable.
In fact I think it almost goes without saying, to reconcile, you must definitely first be happy! Ironic, no?
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
