Briefly - I had to move away for a job, leaving my WAW MLCer at home wihtthe kids. Which is what she wanted. She asked me to help her find a job where they live. I see this is as a step to never moving with you, but I guess it is something she needs to work through.
I said I am conflicted for obvious reasons, don't know how I could help, but would be happy to talk to her about it if she thought I could be helpful. She responded nevermiond, I'll do it on my own...
Thx. Yes, the kids are the hardest thing in all of this. We kind of have a reverse sitch -- I moved away and she is still there. The really sad part is that the kids truly believe that as soon as our house sells they are ALL moving to be with me. I don't know what we could do differently, as W says she has not made a decision as to what she wants to do yet - so why start worrying the kids.
I believe that she has made up her mind and is using this period to get the kids comfortable with the idea that the daddy they love now lives somewhere else.
When we talked about finances yesterday I said there are a few things we should not do until a decision is made. I did not say "until you decide what to do" and she responded kinda nasty saying thay yes, she knows uit is her decision to make. I did not reposnd but wanted to say no sh**.
I did tell her months ago that I would not bail her out with the kids. I will participate in the discussion if/when we have to tell them that their family is coming apart and my part in that, but she is going to have to day I have decided... That was a long time ago, but I still feel the same.
doa- If your W decides to stay where she is, is there anyway you can move back? I have no idea how far you are from your kids now, but your kids will need you to be close and to see them often. I think that is something you need to consider.
I agree, if your W decides that she doesn't want the M, then it should be her telling your kids what is happening and then you can be there to discuss it everything. I just can't understand the selfishness of all of this when kids are involved. Grrr...
I think you are approaching things ok. Do you keep in steady contact with your kids? This is very important right now.
She has not made up her mind....she hasn't a clue. She THINKS she knows. She's fighting her own battle. She knows she is the one who has to make the decision and she isn't liking it at all. She's messed up things big time and is not sure how to fix it. Let her be as nasty as she wants...shrug it off. Women can be vicious.
I know this is hard.....and it is going to get even harder. But for now, keep all your conversations stictly business. Every time you speak to her your voice needs to exude HAPPINESS!! Make it up if you need to...don't let her know your miserable.
You are now the PRIZE doa.....she needs to win you back.
This is easy for me to say as I did not have to do this with children involved. But there is a way.....
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
I have been talking to them twice every day since I left -- after school and at bedtime. I can't imagine how W feels when they ALWAYS sign off with I love you I miss you...
I could (and will) move closer to them, but can't until W gets a job. Our finances are too tight and it is difficult to find a job in my field at the pay level we need right now.
She said in her text that we are in dire straights financially -- which I know is true. I want to say why is it "we" now? :-)
