Don't apologize Craig, we know how you feel. Every time I see my wife I think to myself how did I not show my love and appreciation (in the way that she needed) to a person who is so beautiful, inside and out. Of course, she is less beautiful inside these days, at least to me, wish the old her would come back.
Keep taking those long walks. I've been doing a lot of those, helps to get out in the crisp air and get the blood flowing, clears the mind.
Me: 43 W: 41 Together 2009, Married 2011 Sons 10 and 6, Daughter 5 Bomb 2/21/21. W moved out 10/2021