Thanks frank. It would be easier if she were just mad all the time. Her anger, after almost two years, actually helps me move on. But when her *feelings* for me or the family come back, it really hurts. A repeat hurt.
Does that make any sense?
No, I do not feel like an A-hole. Poor wording on my part. What I meant to say is that she believes that I am an A-hole and if I respond with anger and resentment that would confirm her opinion, in her mind. I see now it is better not to get wrapped up in "her intensity" as you put it, so she has no easy confirmation of her position.
She is on travel this week, left yesterday. I got a call last night, thought it was FIB. But it was fW. She said hi and I was just in shock a bit - she never calls, just sends an email "safe arrival".
Very long pause. She says "well I made it". She asked how I was and proceeded to tell me about her trip, how she had a bad headache, and her hotel - how she hit the exercise room, etc. She commented how hard it was to leave the kids. I listened mostly. Her call duplicated the calls she made when we were still together.
Then she said she had a few topics to discuss. I thought, here it comes (remember she was a total bi*ch the day before). Instead she talked about the kid's homework and things I needed to do (make sure they read, S10 has a spelling test this week so go over his words, etc). Sort of a lecture on things I already knew, but I just listened without comment. She made a cheerful goodby and I gave the phone to the kids.
It would be better for me if she just stayed angry.
