I too struggle about *moving on*. I agree if a loved one dies then acceptance is somewhat easier b/c things are indeed final. This D-stuff is never really final, especially with kids in the equation.
Some people here are strong on *standing*. I agree with that but I disagree when their definition never allows a person to move on. It is standing or nothing. Same for dating - I know I am not ready, as you do, but there is a difference between not being ready and being stuck b/c we think we SHOULD not be ready yet.
If you stand and stand or delay the dating again and again, it is too easy IMO to fall into the *victim*, or worse the *martyr* role. That is a comfortable place of denial.
And not at all healthy.
So I tell new folks here to give it some time - to stand. I also tell my newly D'ed friends here to take it slow. But I always add that they should keep reassessing their position. Ask yourself why I am standing or why I am not dating. Be as honest as you can.
