Truly Piecing once and for all!

[Heartbroken]

Hello Limbo!

See the post I just left you! You are such a good person that even in your own stresses you still worry about others.

Last week was not that great - I pressed (yes, I know very anti-DB) H to admit he is still leaning towards a divorce. I could just tell with every dialogue session he hints that he cannot get over his fears, his guilt, doesn't trust my changes...it's like he is trying to convince me we should be apart. I ask him why he thinks the pain will stop with me gone? Does he not realize the pain everytime we exchange those kids???? We talked about him moving down to the guest room after my parents left (they came for the TG weekend) and I talked about not finding a house until the spring....very sad emotional conversation. Then it ended up that night we just layed together and fell asleep we went to the Packers/Lions game with our 10 yr old (his 1st NFL game) and had a good time. That night he said we should still keep trying. WTH???? Why is he so wishy washy or is it me just refusing to let go and then he backs down???? I am really just so so tired. I realized I need help in how to DB once again - I need to start GAL'ing and doing things for me, to stop pursuing and being so clingy...

I feel I am a very low point once again - so emotionally drained that I fear my family and close GF's will think I am crazy for hanging in there once again...

Positive from last night after we dialogued H said he is really going to try and stay in the present moment from day to day - maybe this will help with his negative attitudes...

So overall I am better today - but like you I am so tired of each new turn on this rollercoaster ride....

Happy Tuesday!

HB