Read the book and looking for support

[mrarow]

I have lost my Wife's love and affection, I have helped in Losing our 2 best Friends! Went into major depression and did a ton of stupid things tiring to make sense of it all. Well I have been Married almost 13 years to the Woman of my dreams..... So I thought? We have 3 Girls 1 hers, 1 mine and 1 ours. I had the bomb dropped a few months ago that She was not only not in love with me anymore but she was in Love with my x-Best friend of 20+ years. His wife was her best friend! OMG!! The details are very sad and disturbing how all this happened to write on here. I do not believe they have stopped communicating as she maintains she wants to be his friend! Would love some support at this time! I am in counselling with help from a local church, taking meds for depression and am being much more positive but what a rollercoaster ride! I feel sick and want this nightmare to end!! I have made huge changes to myself and am continuing to work on me now. My relationship with my girls and her has been improving but with lots of ups and downs with the W.
Tiring hard to give W space as that is what she wants at this time. We are still sleeping in same bed and are not fighting about these issues anymore for the most part. Have been getting good advice from councillor and My wife is planning to go so that we can remain friends whatever the outcome. I hope and wish for the opportunity to make up for many years of being complacent in all aspects of my marriage and family for many years. Its been a few months of hell but I am seeing a few baby steps in the right direction. Tiring to be positive and happy as I realize that is much more attractive to her. I do not talk much about the past and continue to show thru my actions my sincerity to want to make a better marriage from all of this. I love her so Much!! Its so hard to not receive affection and love from her anymore! I am so scared that my past mistakes my never be forgiven? I just want a chance to save our marriage and have a 2 parent family. I will do anything and feel so desperate. I have so much more I want to say but can't at this time. The Divorce remedy book has been helpful but she wont read it at all. She is a fence sitter, and I so much want her back on my side of it! What to do next? Some input and someone to talk to would be helpful at this time?