WAW staying, I'm leaving to give her space..

[jab]

Thanks all,

Wife DOES have legitimate reason not to wear rings to work. She's a trauma RN at the ER. She lost a stone recently in one of her rings that I gave her so I believe her. I will be keeping an eye on if and when she wears it going forward, believe me.

For those who are saying NOT to leave the house:
I appreciate the feedback and believe me, I'm on the fence about it! My issue is twofold:

1) when she dropped the bomb, she said she was moving out and a D. It changed to a 2 month wait before a S decision, and then quickly to a choice between I move out for awhile and see how she feels after some MC and time away from me or she will move out and a D. This was mainly caused by my begging, pleading and not backing off for the first 2 weeks.

2) I am being sentenced for DUI on 12/11, will get house arrest for 60 days and I have no car or license. I live 25 miles from work. I figured if I moved into apt across street from work it would work out better if she really wants to work on M. Kids wouldn't be displaced. She is screaming to me she needs some space to think about it but at the same time not making ANY promises to try (she's not even sure if she wants to try).

I'm running out of time to make a decision. I will probably have the apt lease agreement in my hands tomorrow or Wed. I'm really scared that if I demand to stay in our home for the house arrest that she will just move out and file papers. It's a tough, tough decision. Like putting all your chips on RED or BLACK at the roulette table! Which one do you choose? ANY FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED!

Today went to work, FIL had lung surgery today and it was D4 birthday. Sounds like FIL is doing as good as can be expected (removing part of lung and cancer tumor at 78, multiple heart and back issues over the years). W was very worried but still pretty cold to me. I told her if anything happened to give me a call at work, she just gave me kind of a 'screw you' look. I called her at work in the afternoon to see how her dad was anyway and she sounded in a better mood compared to when I left this morning.

D4's birthday went better than expected (wife still pretty cold towards me but seemed in an ok mood). She was angry this morning at me for not putting together a dollhouse last night (a bday present for D). I honestly wanted to but I was exhausted by the time kids went to bed, looked at directions (36 pages long) and decided it might be a better idea to put it together as a family when I got home from work. Actually, it turned out ok because W couldn't put it together so I ended up doing it anyway. Benefits were 1) W saw me putting it together and how long it took me, 2) I was being interactive with D, and 3) kept me busy so I didn't bother W. She never thanked me but I just kept on being happy like nothing was wrong.

I also pulled a 180 this morning that made me grin on the way to work. I started wearing my wedding ring. I haven't wore it for years. Basically, at my old job it was dangerous to wear rings and jewelery (high voltage) (it also was damaged several times). I stopped wearing it to work and it just became a habit not to wear it unless we went out on a date or something. I don't have any safety issues at new job that prevents it and I just felt like wearing it again so I put it on when getting ready for work. Never said anything to W but she noticed. I wish I could have taken a picture! She just looked so confused and asked me "why are you wearing your wedding ring?!? Why now?". I just said nicely, "I felt like it, no danger at work anymore. Anyhow, we ARE still married, right?" She didn't know what to think! She probably thought I was trying to intimidate her because I mentioned that she wasn't wearing hers to work but I don't care. I think I did the right thing to start wearing it since in the past it always bothered her a little that I didn't wear it.

One other scary thing that I did today..I have an extensive MP3 collection and MP3 player with 30Gig of music. She always used it when running on treadmill but lately I've been taking it to work with me. Her playlist was messed up and a few weeks ago wanted me to fix it. Today I decided to try and fix it and saw a post a couple days ago on DB about playlists and what kind of music their WAW was listening to. I became curious so I started listening to W playlist that she uses on the treadmill. WOW! Not going to list the lyrics here but the songs were definitely a 'window to her mind' over the past few months. Songs about dumping bad partners, you never understood me, you never cared, songs about escape, the messages were all there. I wish I would have done that a few months ago and maybe I would've picked up on something then! I didn't tell her I listened to what she was listening to nor did I tell her I fixed her playlist. I just wanted to erase the playlist, anyhow it's my MP3 player and she only uses it when I give it to her anyway.