TLC???

[JennyF]

Hi Peace,
I'm tired today. Had both kids to myself tonight, usually I'm ok but today I'm lacking energy. They can be exhausting.
I've felt pretty beat up emotionally lately about H's unprovoked anger toward me. It's like he doesn't even see me as a human being any more and I've got to have pretty thick skin to keep it in perspective and not let him drag me down.

H has been semi-civil to me the last 2 days when he is here to pick up or drop off D. Not nice by any means, but not glaring mad.
I had a conversation with a mutual friend on Sunday who has really only seen his perspective and she shed some interesting light on how he's portraying himself to others. He's making himself the good guy and has everyone fooled. She did say though that for the first time she's seeing the pent up anger in him...and that he is obviously mad at anyone opposing his decisions. I'm just trying to sit back and let him show his true colours to others. I feel as though we're building up to some breaking point with him...I'm just scared how much worse it will get before he does actually crack. Others are voicing their opinions about how wrong it is for him to suggest selling the house right now...if the right people tell him this (his 2 best friends whose opinions probably matter the most to him) it might start to spark some changes. I'm hoping for the best...but at this point not expecting it.

He's starting to shut a lot of people out including his mom and sisters (and he's living with them) so it seems he's going further into his tunnel. I find comfort in knowing the stages of the MLC and how scripted he has been to them up until this point. But he has been in replay for a while now and i have no idea what it will take to trigger the awakening.
I'm just waiting and taking care of me and the kids in the meantime. And trying to stall this selling the house business!!
Thanks for checking in.
J~