I guess I really can't help you cause I am in the sam situation and I don't know what the heck i'm doing. The one thing it does look like is that you let him walk all over you. i do that too. I got some good advice this morning to stand up and command respect.
I know that you can't hide from this. You at least have to change what you can about you.
One thing I've been doing is reading alot about other men and women that have WASs. Both sides of the story. Maybe you can get a little insight into your H and maybe you can get some advice from others that are/were WASs.
(((( hugs )))))