Maybe not too complicated to understand

[Michael Mc C]

I spoke to her mother today who told me that she did insist on getting the details regarding where she will be. I agree, it's a wreckless thing to do.

I have let the OM know how things were going while things were out of the picture. That we were making small yet positive steps. He tried walking away today but I don't know where that ended up. She is in a very good mood still so I'm sure she told him I was trying to manipulate things.

But if I wasn't so deeply in love with her, why would bother contacting him?

I have sent him a final email and will walk away from that myself. What happens with that relationship is between and up to the two of them. I have been working on facing the reality of the situation and that there is nothing I can do any longer with this. I have to regain my strength and PMA and start to plan life without her as my wife.

I thought we were through this so that's what's really killing me. That the worst was over. I know that when she meets him there is a chance, of course, that she will realize he is not what she wants. I am not at all optimistic about that.

In the beginning it seemed that this day could never come and that I had plenty of time to work on this. Now I'm faced with deciding whether or not I'm strong enough to live in the same house with her.

Her upbeat attitude flies in the face of her comments that this is one of the hardest things she ever tried to do. "It's a risk but I have to take it."