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Pamar Offline OP
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husband,

Wish I could. Sometimes seems that it is easier to give advice and fix other things than sort your own out.

Saffie,

No, it's the Edinburgh Marathon in aid of Breast Cancer (W's mother died of this), so I am going to surprise her with it.

lwb,

Patience, patience, patience. Something I am learning, but I want it fixed NOW. Taking things slowly seems to work.


Paul

Married 16
Know 21
Kids m8, f5

Bomb: 4/07
Despair to Hope: 4/07 - ongoing

Never, ever give up

Current Sitch
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 835
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Man... I am sooooo jealous!!!

Keep it up. You are doing a FABULOUS job.. and yes I'm saying it like the Orbit chick.

If you've not seen it... it's a gum commercial. Google it.. you'll laugh.

I love that chick!!



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Pamar Offline OP
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OK, nothing much to report, except life is better. Had a kiss befoer work \:\) and some great intimacy last night. This is getting to be a regular thing, so I better tread carefully.

W is off next 2 days and stated yesterday that she planned to go out with a friend on Thursday. I think she expected me to be all downbeat about it, but I basically said, have a great time and let me know if I need to pick up kids.

Feeling more positive about life at the moment, but don't want to get my hopes up too much.


Paul

Married 16
Know 21
Kids m8, f5

Bomb: 4/07
Despair to Hope: 4/07 - ongoing

Never, ever give up

Current Sitch
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 5,666
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Way to go!




Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.
-- Bernice Johnson Reagon


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Hi Pamar-

Sorry I've been absent from your thread when you've been checking on me!!

I'm so glad that things are looking positive for you. It's odd how we feel like we have to, as you put it, tread carefully, or get our hopes up when things look better. Your W will see your being at ease with her going out and that will help.

Take care. Here's to better days ahead!!

SueS


ME: 42, H: 42, D6
Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs.
Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009
Status: Working on it day by day
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Pamar Offline OP
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All, thank you.

At the moment, things are going OK, but nagging doubts at back of mind (suppose they will be there for a long time).

Little things give me hope though. We were looking at our visa bill yesterday, which had details of our holiday expenditure. I made a comment about one of the restaurants being cheeper and W said 'we'll have to go there more often then.' It may seem like a little thing, but it was good.

Today was more difficult as S7 was playing up. Going through a difficult phase and it is hard on both of us. I didn't say 'good morning' to him (even though he was throwing a tantrum), so W was upset (more at him though). Sorted it out and W is out with a friend today.

I really think she is trying, telling me where she is going and offering to take me to work (bikes in getting fixed). So overall good, but still lots of eggshells to get through.


Paul

Married 16
Know 21
Kids m8, f5

Bomb: 4/07
Despair to Hope: 4/07 - ongoing

Never, ever give up

Current Sitch
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 5,643
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Quote:
So overall good, but still lots of eggshells to get through.


You've got the good, let's hope the eggshells go away!!!

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Pamar Offline OP
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OK, so life is OK.....but am I getting sucked into something.

W was in bed with D tonight and I tried to give her a kiss. Wasn't too well received, but I ignored it and did my own thing. W then came and found me (I was sitting in the dining room having a quiet drink). So, no kissing, but intimacy. No cuddles, unless I initiate.

Want to feel more positive but still unsure. Suppose this is the patience angle coming again.

On the positive side, we have ordered new carpets for the house and W mentioned getting a skip in the New Year (so I'm around till then yaaaay). No home internet contact with OP and I have not checked her phone.

I still analyse things, but don't try to think too much (or even beat myself up). Also now listen to W and don't press further. Last night, W wanted to read as she was 'uptight and restless'. I asked what was wrong and she replied 'lots of things, just leave it'. Well before I would have picked at that until there was an explosion, but instead I said 'OK' and snuggled down to sleep.

We were also intimate this morning, which was nice. I still want more (the love), but I am back on the patience trail, so we will wait and see.


Paul

Married 16
Know 21
Kids m8, f5

Bomb: 4/07
Despair to Hope: 4/07 - ongoing

Never, ever give up

Current Sitch
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 312
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Pamar Offline OP
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Update,

Forgot to say last night. In W's new job she will be mentoring a graduate. She told me the other night that this would mean she would have to go away for a couple of days, but....not until July.

I reacted that that was great and she would make a great mentor. not sure if she was telling me just to tell me, or guaging my reaction, or asking for approval.

Morning school rush went ok and she came to me to say goodbye. Not the best week for her; hormones. So DB to the fore!!!


Paul

Married 16
Know 21
Kids m8, f5

Bomb: 4/07
Despair to Hope: 4/07 - ongoing

Never, ever give up

Current Sitch
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,866
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Paul,

Your doing great.. there are lots of good signs here, stay postive!

tal


me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
S7
S3
porn issues, and much more... since 7/06

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
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