I went through what you both are going through back in 04 & 05 and it's NO FUN.
What helped me was definitely getting involved in a lot of things I enjoyed to keep my mind off things and also to tire my butt out to the point of falling into bed half dead. I signed up to play professional women's version of the NFL. GAVE ME A WHOLE NEW RESPECT FOR THE NFL GUYS!
The best advice I can offer is to PUT YOURSELF FIRST (after God of course :-) ) now & even if things work out or don't work out.
My husband and I are still together and I can tell you, there are times that I still wrestle with things in my head. It's been two years since I found out about the OW and although he asked for forgiveness and set up for us to go to counseling, the majority of our healing was just learning to communicate to one another all over again.
I think what I battle with most now is forgiveness and learning how to communicate what bothers me to him. I ABSOLUTELY hate the fact that, at times, if the town where the OW is even mentioned, that I get upset or even allow myself to become jealous. (I dont' let on to him, but it still bothers me internally.) Especially because the more we're back together, the more I realize that I wasn't such a horrible person after all and that the issue was his. Grant it, I DEFINITELY PLAYED A PART in our first separation in 04, however, after we got back together, I realized it was his self-esteem issue that caused him to stray after moving back in with me.
Since I saw that the two of you are close to his age, I figured maybe I could offer some advice as well as ask some of you too. I hope in some way my words & my sitch helps and hopefully you can help me understand men his age.
Although I'm not going to get into questions for advice for me right now, because I don't have the time, maybe I can ask some later if that's okay.
Either way - DEFINITELY KEEP YOUR CHIN(S) UP & STAY HAPPY FOR YOU!!! Because believe me - you have to continue doing this even if you do get back together. That's probably the hardest thing for me is to continue to focus on doing things to feel good about myself and yet balance it with doing things to keep our relationship healthy as well.
I can tell you for the most part that it's great. What strains it is when we don't have time or make time to communicate or understand one another - and just as importantly - ourselves.
Keep me up to speed & know that I'm praying for your sitches!
"GET BUSY LIVING OR GET BUSY DYING...."
And... for your viewing pleasure.... http://www.laughyourway.com/video/ Best video I've seen that helps define the difference between Men's & Women's thoughts.
