I hope nobody shames you. You are here, putting yourself out there, in order to help others.
Your wife misses and loves your family. I know that with us, I spent the time with H's family, because I enjoy them and don't know if they will be my 'family' anymore. I try not to be distant towards my H during these functions, but its hard to balance my hurt/pain. Your W could have just 'bagged' the entire function and not gone at all, so that's good she went. She sees that you are back, you are doing all the right things, but she is so worried she is going to get hurt again. She is protecting herself with the distance and lashing out.
Don't feel self centered. You are going through this as well. You are hurt, sad, and lonely too. You have realized that you did something wrong, and now you are living with the guilt too. I honestly feel bad for my H, where he is, the mess he constantly has to think about, I wouldn't want anyone I care about to feel that way.
Take care, I think things will get better.
Thank you for this post. every day is just a case of up and downs. Sometimes I honestly feel like W is flirting with me. Then 30 minutes later she is cold and almost rude to me. I know I have to take the good with the bad. I have thought of myself for so long, why should she not get to think of her self. When she tells the kids to tell me what they want for Christmas it is as if she is telling me I will be apart.
She and the kids leave tomorrow. I have been trying to Act As iF and show 180s. I have no idea if it is working and frankly I can't begin to measure because I never got any feedback before.
I have poured myself into my kids these last five days and have tried to show her what she would be giving up. I have had no suspicious behaviors. We went to see Mr. Magoriums Wonderful Emporium this PM with the kids. It was great. But, there was NO sharing of emotion between her and I though I wanted desperately for there to be.
I have no idea what the car ride will hold tomorrow and I am scared about what tonight holds after dinner. I want to be together at Christmas and for the future, forever. I know it is what is in the best interest of the kids. They keep telling me how much the love and miss me.
again, I am trying to be strong, but inside I am tortured. I just wish she would talk.
