Ouch! Thought I was so much stronger!

[Hurtin4certain]

How long before the prozac starts to work? My anxiety is through the roof!

[Yoyowife]

On most AD's they say you should see a difference after about 2 weeks, but generally it takes about 4 weeks. How long have you been on them? In the meantime I would read books like Divorce Remedy to get you on the right track. Go to Amazon.com and look at books you would like to read on relationships and either order them or go check your local library or bookstore to see if they have them. This helped me tremendously while I was a wreck. I couldn't concentrate on anything else, but I could read these books. Of course come on here and read and vent. It became my lifeline. Hang in there it gets better.

Hugs

[Larrynarry]

Echo Yoyo.. 2-4 weeks. I was on zoloft. Did you get anything else? They gave me a stronger med for "panic attacks" that did the trick.

Yeah.. these are the rough times. You will make it through. Keep yourself busy.. that's the key during this time. Workout, immerse yourself in work, go bowling, anything that will keep you busy and keep your mind off the sitch.

Hang in there.. it does take time!!

[Hurtin4certain]

Thanks guys... I been on them for about a week and a half. Hopefully they start to kick in soon. Jar, whats the name of med for panic attacks? Maybe Ill ask my Dr. for a prescription.

[Hurtin4certain]

Fellow DBers... how do I stay in contact with my W? Since I found out about OM, there has been no contact at all. We usually text, email jokes and talk on the phone. Or should I be going dark now?

I know that I need to compete with OM and be the greener grass, but how do I do that without looking desperate?

[Yoyowife]

Just limit your contact to info regarding your DD. Do not ask questions unless it concerns DD. I think you did very well when you dropped DD and you were dressed nicely to make her think you were going somewhere. When you are around her, just be upbeat and pleasant.

[mhuschka]

hi hurtin,

sounds like you had a pretty rough holiday. I'm sorry. I can't imagine what you went through after hearing what your daughter said. I do agree with jarhead tho. It's not you having a problem with her R with OM. It's about your D being subject to that. Just make it clear that you don't care what she does, but she needs to consider your D before she does it.

Good for you on getting all dressed up and showing her that you can GAL w/out her. She'll notice.

There could be 100's of reasons she would tell your D she's w/ OM, but don't try to assume which one. You never really know.

BTW. I'm in Orange County.

Take care and keep taking your daughter to church, with all the craziness going around, she'll need it as much as you do.

melissa.

[Larrynarry]

Hurtin... like YoYo said.. keep it short and to the point. Only talk about things that have to deal with D. If it starts going in other directions, say you have to go.

It's also for self preservation. The more you are in contact, the more you will think about her and the M. Have you made a list of things you would like to change? If not, try that and start working on what you can. Want to change the arrangement of the house? Do it.

Idle hands/minds are not good things right now. Keep yourself busy. Focus on you and your D. W is an alien right now. You don't speak alien do you?

[Hurtin4certain]

Hey guys...Im sure most of you have seen Marriagebuilders.com. Their approach to infedelity is a little different than DB.

Basically they have a plan A and plan B. In plan A you are basically trying to meet all of your S emotional needs (competing with OP). After doing that for a few months and not getting any results, you go to Plan B (basically the same thing as the Last Resort).

Im torn as to whether or not I call W to make small talk and try and meet some of her emotional needs (Plan A).

What do you guys think?

[Hurtin4certain]

I guess part of me thinks that she will pursue OM harder once she sees me go dark because last time I went dark when I had a gf.