I have joined my oppressed working class brothers (the Hollywood writers). I am on strike. I have decided that if my W cannot muster the will to at least give me a romantic kiss now and then that I am on strike. I will not initiate and I will turn down those half hearted initiations of hers. Going on about 10 weeks of strike now. Hell, I know there are things I need to change but I'm getting tired of always going first. I found the MC (all three of them), I got us to Retrouvaille, I'm the one posting and reading here, reading books, trying to learn, etc and I'm damn sick of it. It's always "If you do {insert want of the week} or stop doing {insert complaint of the week} then we can grow closer and the romantic relationship will just naturally grow". After 4 years I'm calling BS on that. She has no SD, at least not for me. I need to wean myself off of any attraction I have for her just to keep my sanity. One of two things could happen. She could decide that she needs to step up (seems unlikely) or I could decide that I don't care anymore. Either way I'm better off than I am now. It would be amusingly ironic if both things happened. It seems that, fortunately for me, we have an empty bedroom that I was going to make my office. I guess I should get a TV for my office and just make it my room. That yellow paint has to go though.

I really don't want a divorce (at least not yet), nor do I want to give up this house. Hmmm, I wonder if she would mind me bringing home a date? (Just kidding all, don't get all moral on me).

So there it is. After 4 years of trying, I have to face the fact that I apparently don't have what it takes to attract her anymore. I don't know how long this state of affairs will last as the situation does not seem stable enough to last too long before something gives, but I'm assuming we'll see new TV shows long before I actually want to have sex with my W.

Sorry for the rant. Not asking for advice really. Just blowing off steam and you all seem to understand the need for that occasionally.

Gone the carvings and those who left their mark.
Gone the kings and queens, now only the rats hold sway.