I know snooping does not help. I've learned that here and in real life but just for the sake of gathering evidence this is what I did to find things out.
I checked the history of the internet browser and found the websites he was looking. The first bomb was an online dating site. I signed up myself and started to look for his profile. Since he was stupid enough to post with a nick name that was predictable and posted pictures, it was pretty easy. You can always count on their stupidity and underestimation of our intelligence to figure things out because they are foggy. The second bomb a while away was a cyber sex site. It was harder because he was smarter by then but left tracks like birthday dates and physical description, but I could break his passwords, again it was predictable since he does not have a very good memory and tries to make them easy for him to remeber.
The chat messages can be saved locally in the computer he is using.Sometimes it's automatic and if it's saved you will be able to see them by going to options.
See, I can tell you by now you are with your heart running fast, knots in your stomach and your head spinning. Snooping is not healthy so just get enough information for the sake of evidence and to direct your decisions because it's easily addictive. Try to occupy yourself, read a book, search for information about infidelity in the web. There are good references in this forum. It will calm you down.
About what you said of him not being attracted to you, I have some experiences in my threads and you can see that is not exactly like that. I think Tired and Lost had some of the same issues so you can go to the those threads as well. In addition, several of us experienced our H's having EAs. Read the posts in this forum as much as you can.
