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Joined: Nov 2007
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Ok...I did some snooping. OM is a real estate agent in Las Vegas. It scares me that he might make more money than me and be that much more attractive to W.

I simply cannot stop obsessing. This past week and half have been so hard for me.

How can I ever get over the pain?


Hurtin: 32
WAW: 30
D: 8
Bomb: 10/05
Sep: 12/05
Back together 8/07
Bomb (OM): 11/07
Filed for D (me): 12/07
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 544
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It takes time and it takes focus on yourself. Regardless of who the OM is, there is always something more attractive. My W's OM is years younger than her, lives hundreds of miles away, makes half of what I do, lives with his mother (he's separated) and doesn't even have a car...

and yet she can't imagine life without him.

There is no easy way to get over the pain. My W and I have had conversations today about her moving on with her life that I never thought I'd be able to handle 3 months ago. I am NOT okay with the situation but I am not anquished - although I was a couple days ago when all of the progress we made was thrown in the crapper because they started speaking again.


Latest Thread

Me: 39/W: 37
D13-D11-S8
M/T 14/20

EA confirmed: 9/13/07
D-Bomb: 9/19/07
OM Gone since 12/18/07
W wants to fix marriage: 3/16/07
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Thanks guys... I appreciate your feedback.

I met W to exhange D tonight. I decided I'd dress a little more snazzy than usual. D kept asking me where I was going during the drive there. I responded dont worry about it honey (I know my W will ask).

So we get out of our cars and wife doesnt look good.. wearing one of my old baseball caps with a T-shirt and some capris. Not exactly what I would imagine as she was supposedly with OM today. I figured she would have makeup and her hair done.

I ask her how she is doing, responds "alright". THen she says, "look at you all dressed up". I kind of chuckled, told my D I love her and got back in my car.

I hope I got her thinking. SHe has gotten zero response from me in regards to OM. In the past, I would have BLOWN A GASKET if this would have happened. So hopefully I have just completed my first 180.


Hurtin: 32
WAW: 30
D: 8
Bomb: 10/05
Sep: 12/05
Back together 8/07
Bomb (OM): 11/07
Filed for D (me): 12/07
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 835
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OUTSTANDING!!! Good job. Also, good job with D. I'm sure W will be going insane cause D doesn't even know!!

That's all part of the game!! Act as if.. GAL.. You should've taken your duded up self and went somewhere!!

Keep it up man!!



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I agree with Jar! Way to go. Even better that you looked so good and she did not. She'll be thinking about it all night. And give yourself a gold star for acting 'as if'.

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Thanks guys! I appreciate that ya'll are in my corner!


Hurtin: 32
WAW: 30
D: 8
Bomb: 10/05
Sep: 12/05
Back together 8/07
Bomb (OM): 11/07
Filed for D (me): 12/07
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 5,666
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Go Hurtin, you're the man with the plan! ;\)




Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.
-- Bernice Johnson Reagon


Joined: Jun 2007
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Hurtin,

If the OM's in real estate maybe he won't make more than you - isn't the real estate market in a real mess over in the US?

In our minds we always put ourselves as the person with the monkey on our shoulders - most times reality is SO much different.

Hang in there!!!!!

husband - I have HAD to get up today - thank goodness for valium!!!!! It helps with the muscle spasms!!!!!

Saffie


Saffie
me 46
H 46
M in 1986
D20,D18,S16,D13
H's A 01/05 to 07/06
H recommitted to M 07/06
renewed vows 09/06
Going from strength to strength
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Hurtin,

I don't mean to sound mean but if all your wife is interested in is money do you really want her back? And if so then make more money.
Don’t compare yourself the OMAH. You can't. Let's see he has no morals, He helped break up a family, and he is most likely using your wife. Do you really want to be like that?
Dressing up was good. Take care of your self. I too want to kick my W OM a$$. Just because. But the difference is I know I am already better than him. They are weak. They prey on women that are confused. They would take advantage of a woman passed out just to suit themselves. That is the main thought if anything these guys and gals only think about themselves. How long will it take for our spouses to get tired of taking care of these high maintenance people? We need to let to show our spouses that we can take care of ourselves. We are not needy. If fact we can not only take care of ourselves, we have enough left over to take care of our families too.
Take care and take care of yourself

Husband


And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know
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The problem is that I think my W met this guy when we were no longer speaking. I was off doing my own thing with a new gf (I didnt think I ever wanted her again) and my W just moved on. When I broke it off with my gf, W and I started dating again and then the OM became an issue.

I think she was dating OM and cheating on him with me.


Hurtin: 32
WAW: 30
D: 8
Bomb: 10/05
Sep: 12/05
Back together 8/07
Bomb (OM): 11/07
Filed for D (me): 12/07
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