Are you not the same guy who professes to turn all negative thinking into positive thoughts?
How many times have you had me and others rewrite our negative thoughts into positive ones?
52 is not old and based on your Mom's age, you could live as long as her so how do you want to spend the next 40 years? I hope you don't reach 90 and regret having wasting those years thinking about what a failure you were at 52 because YOU ARE NOT. Imagine when you are 90 wishing you were 52 and how you would have done things differently so DO IT.
Yes, you made mistakes and who hasn't. You will think of yourself to be a real failure if you don't focus on all the positives and learn from the mistakes when you are 90.
It takes 2 to make a marriage work so you did not fail your family alone. Pick yourself up. Show your kids what a great Dad you are, show your son the man you want him to become, show your D the man you hope you finds to marry.
BTW - don't be thinking that this is your Mom's last holiday either. We never thought my grandmother would see her 90th birthday so we had a big birthday party when she turned 89 and you know what, she is 98 and still kicking. Yes, she is frail but she can still remember those Italian poems better than her 70 year old daughter. I told her she will see her 100th birthday and I do believe it.
It had me thinking that if I live to her age, I have another 50 years to live. I don't want to regret having wasted the 2nd half of my life not living it fully.
Yes, there are some hard days and I can get down on myself just as you are doing but I try to pick myself up again. It really is up to each of us to make something of our life, to learn from our mistakes and show God that we never stopped believing that he loves us and wants us to be happy. If we fail, it is us we are failing and no one else.
Few real friends - I know exactly what you mean and if I don't hear from my friends, I call them. I try to see or talk to them at least once a month. I also try to make some new friends. Yes, it's hard especially when they are part of a couple but if you don't try, you will never know.
No social life - again, at our age, it is hard to meet new friends especially since the bar scene is not our thing anymore. So how about you invite some friends over for Christmas Cheer and tell them to bring some of their other friends too. Take a chance.
No sex life; no one to put their arms around you - oh I hear you. During my quiet times, I do think about how I see my future and I do see someone in my life. I do believe that what we focus on will come true but we have to want it enough and be clear about what we want. When it is presented to us, we will know.
As for dating - who says you have to play a game? It's all how you want to approach it. Find someone interesting? Ask them out for a coffee and take it from there. What's the rush? Maybe you're just not ready. I feel that way too but I don't want to live the next 50 years alone so I'm the only one who can do something about it and the same goes for you.
I know what you feel, trust me since I've been through it twice but you know what, I have my kids to remind me that I too have made mistakes but I AM NOT A FAILURE.
I have this posted on my wall from Theodore Roosevelt "It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed." Now post it on your wall.
If Annie, Nicola, Lissie and I can see that you have grown from this experience, you bet your fW is noticing too. Oh ya, she still cares. Whether she wants to come back, you won't know but how about you show her what she could've had or have in the future. Don't do it for her, do it for you.
Bottoms up! Cheers! ISLH
Me: 49 - S22 & S26 H: 41 - No kids M: 10/00 Bomb New Year's Day 2006 H living w OW 01/07; have baby 12/07 D final 07/07 Thread #9 - Hope Lives On
