Okay, so BB is capable of behaving like a responsible, caring adult. IOW, she has a functional cow. Her cow works more/better when someone human or animal is sick. As I get better, the cow disappears and the complainer comes out.
Now, it is abundantly clear that you have the male equivalent of a cow (let's call it the St. Bernard) which is, obviously, a good thing. Unfortunately, due to your FOO experiences you are unable to move freely out of the St. Bernard quadrant into the other quadrants of your identity. You don't have the problem of having too much Puppy Dog- you don't treat BB like a goddess or a queen but because you stay stuck in St. Bernard, you treat her too much like a princess or a baby. Baby???? I treat her more like a kid that needs lots of help. BB has her list of things she can’t do :eyeroll: It is much longer than her can do list. Add sensitive to her description.
Anyways, question number two: How do you behave when you are actually having sex with BB? I go slow. Test the waters. Give foot and back rubs before.
IOW, how do you f*ck? (This might seem like a stupid question but it is based on my recent re-discovery that different men do the basic deed differently and thereby convey different messages to their partners.) To avoid being called insensitive, I start out with some hair, back and butt rubs for 5 minuets in bed and after a couple hours on the sofa doing back or foot rubs. Then I get her on top. She doesn’t like any body weight on her. She is also slightly claustrophobic and being on the bottom causes her to feel closed in. It didn’t use to be that way. She wanted me on her like paint on a floor.
As she has gotten older, she had had more frequent acid reflux symptoms, another reason she doesn’t like me on top. I do top but not very often. If I do I have to not put much weight on her.
As far as the actual fuching, that is slow entry. Short strokes, not very deep for about 10 minuets. It takes about 10 minuets for full penetration.
All of this time I start and stop. I keep playing with her hair, rub/tease her back and butt. We do some kissing but only a little because she gets claustrophobic some.
I stop thrusting at times so she doesn’t get sore. I thrust slow and often enough to stay hard. P in V and lying together is the bulk of our together time/activity. Sex doesn’t happen enough for me so I want it to last. I go for about 15 minuets or till I sense BB reaching her limit. Then I go faster while playing with her hair, back and finally squeeze her but and cum.
I would do more, go longer and be more active but BB doesn’t like that. She liked it firm/lots of grinding when younger but not now. It used to be, I could touch her any place. Now she pulls back if it isn’t something with her hair, back or feet. She tolerates my butt massages when I get ready to cum.
Onetime I played the porno queen and did all of the moaning and words, said I was so hot and give it to me baby OH, Oh, OH just trying to get BB worked up a little. She was worried I was having a stroke.
I used to let her take her bottoms off ( almost always was a chore) but that was before I read some things here. Now I proceed with more confidence and determination. I take off her clothes. She gives the usual reasons not to, she will get cold, she can have sex with them on, can’t find them after sex. I tell her I can’t do her back with then on, so I take them off and hang them on the bedpost.
She doesn’t like some of the wet feelings from the lube and we have had under lubed sex. Not my cup of tea. I used to go light on the lube but no more. She balks but I lube things up now. BTW silicone works the best. Astroglide dries out; silicone doesn’t and is also slipperier.
A couple of times, BB wanted me to pull out when I came. This was a not enough lube problem that was solved when we switched to silicone.
Karen said she wants to be ridden hard and put away wet. WOW I would love that kind of action and we used to do it that way, but not for a long time. I miss just having sex as the mood strikes me.
Now it is measure, test, measure, wait, wait, test, go slow, nothing vigorous, get off with the minimum friction to the female’s equipment. Then clean up right away. But that is the way some of it has to be.
She won't let me do oral or try anything manual. It is P in V, female on top, limit 15 minuets, go slow.
