Yes, you are doing the right thing! I know it is hard to go along to these dinners, etc., but just use them as opportunities to show your changes. If the W doesn't see all of them, maybe the MIL will and point them out later to the W.
As far as the "I need a hug"....well, that sounds sort of ok for a female, (even though to me it is "clingy"....but that just IMHO), but for a male to say that--sounds kind of "weak" so if you haven't made a lot of progress, I wouldn't go that route yet.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
