respond or stay still?

[heartbreak2]

T
I don't remember him saying it in that way but he has said over and over for the last few months that he needs to move forward with the D in order to move on.

He has not said much to me at all in 6 months now.

The last time he peeked out was April. He also was open about seeing OW periodically when I asked so I pulled away. He didn't care or notice and did not pursue me.... it has been down hill since.

I sent him an email on Sat. he has not responded. But I ended it with there are more terms that need to be discussed for the D please let me know when you can do this.

we shall see if he ever responses....

I was surprised he came in and picked up the kids. He said hi and he didn't talk directly to me and I didn't say a word about the other night or the email. I just let him pick up the kids and leave.
best to let him be.

I have not fought with my H at all in the 18 mon. he has been gone. We were spent lots of time together in Jan and Feb.07.
then he ran back to OW.
Since then he has peeked out for about a 2wk period in april. Then nothing since then.

So ... he was on a 3 month cycle about every 10-12 wks he peeked out and obvious peek or attempt to come home that turned into a touch and go.
the 4 months of NC with me initiated by HIM makes me think he was in withdrawal. Well I hope it was at least and maybe just maybe he is coming around.

I have not given up hope but the amount of hope that I have now is much less than it use to be.

My life is about me now. I need to take care of me and my health right now. The stress of all of this has caused some problems for me and I need to deal with it before I lose my health ins.

My kids are suffering and that bothers me greatly.
I do not want a D but if that is all he is going to hound me about I am going to go for the gold and hope for the silver and learn to live life to its fullest and be happy.

Treese I hope that you are taking care of you and your children. Make time for you and don't feel guilty about it. I had a hard time with that at first.
You need your strength for this is a very very long ride.