In some ways it was easier to end the M because there was an OW and XH wasn't nice..however, in general, I would have much rather been in a better place emotionally with him during the D. He was nasty and no, it wasn't easy dealing with restraining orders, etc...but I see where you are coming from. When someone is kicking you when you are down it's easier to say ENOUGH! But if XH was nice but still wanting to leave, it may have been harder for my psyche to end things.
Bottom line..we weren't meant to be..
As for me..very tough weekend..OMG..it was horribly emotional.
I think after THanksgiving my mind just went beserk. Holidays always do that to me..I start going down memory lane and think what if, etc. I know that XH is defintely not for me but I get sad that I am no longer married, etc..
New Guy and I hit a crossroads as a result. I have been with him for two and a half years now and was wondering where he is at emotionally..I didn't know where his mind was at as far as marriage, etc. It's like the subject is taboo but we act like we are married..so weird. I have never been divorced so it's hard not to think that these are emotional scars coming to a head. When you are with a new person and you may start to ponder M or the future, stuff is bound to go on inside your head.
I am scared to get hurt and so is he. We talked and talked..cried and talked..We realize that we want the same things which is good. Getting there is another story..when you have two houses, three kids, four animals, crazy exes..it's not like we can just mesh happily ever after..
But the good news is that I realize that I am stronger than I thought and will lay my heart out there and I did..
New Guy was wonderful and told me he wants to be with me forever.
That was really nice to hear.
So I am licking my old wounds but allowing my heart to open up again..
