{IC again still waving the white flag} discounting the wife comment...would it have made a difference if it was an expensive gift for you because HE wanted to...because he cares for YOU ? Or say bf is a really good mechanic and because it's YOUR dad and bf cares for YOU...he fixes the car for free that normally would have cost say...$800 at a garage?
He has done PLENTY for me, in terms of gifts, flowers, cards, trips, meals, clothes... major appliances, small appliances. He doesn't charge me for dance lessons or competing. That man gives and gives and gives. And eventually, that becomes a red flag in and of itself. Kwis?
My dad... is a lifelong issue. He's a Hobo and a manipulator. I've been giving him money since I was a kid... lunch money, allowances... gave him a car once. And he pays none of it back, though of course, he always promises that he will.
Spent a good deal of time on this one with the shrink. **I** need my dad to be safe. Makes ME feel better. I do what I do to make ME feel better. I don't ask for anything back from him because I know it won't come, and there is absolutely no reason to set myself up and believe, at this point in his life, that he is going to be anything other than what he has been his entire life. A blood sucking leech. Who happens to be my father. And just by stupid default, I love him.
That does not transfer to BF. Period. End of discussion. Not on the dating scene.
Lil is right. BF may be treating me as a wife. But he never asked. And I never said, "I do." That seems pretty presumptuous... to me.
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You took on your family problems...thus making them YOUR problem...BF loves and cares for YOU...It's not bf's JOB or responsibility to do ANYTHING ! ...but because bf loves and cares for YOU, he offers to help out because he WANTS to. I'm failing to see this as "playing house" or how this makes you like your dad.
Yep. If we ever decide to go it together, I'll re-evaluate. This was an incredibly huge issue for me in my M. It is the main reason my friends won't let me wander through a major city by myself... because I will come out penniless and shirtless, what with all the street people. It isn't my problem. But I don't see it as being... gullible. I see something else. I feel something else. It's my bag to carry. Period.
