Good for you!! I'm not much of a spiritual person (raised die hard catholic.. catholic school etc), but I believe that it's definitely helpful. I've thought about going to church with the D's. They do need to learn about God. I feel a little guilty about not taking them.
You know what.. don't torture yourself over the long distance thing.. try not to think about it.. I know.. easier said than done. Did you confront her about keeping D up?
To me.. that would show a position of strength. It would tell her "I don't care what you do, but you better screw your head back on when it comes to our D"
Also.. what's your friend and family sitch? You need to surround yourself with people who will support you. It's a moral imperative.
Geez... another kick in the teeth. My D called W this morning while I was in the shower and left her a voicemail asking her what she was doing. W called back later and D answered phone. W told D she was out jogging with OM. OUCH!
Why would W tell D that? She knows it will get back to me. Is she trying to make me jealous or is she trying to tell me to move on?
Keep in mind, just a few months ago we were dating and we didnt really have any arguments.
Can someone please provide some insight?
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
She's making you jealous.. Of course she knows D will tell you. That's why she told her.
Remember.. these people are aliens. Sounds like she is definitely trying to hurt you.. pay you back.
My advice at this point (also.. remember the 24/48 hour rule) is to let it roll. By you not reacting, it will do a couple of things:
1. She won't get what she wants which is a reaction from you 2. Shows your D you are the bigger/better person 3. Gives W the impression that you could care less 4. Gives you peace of mind knowing you did the above.
Stay strong brother.. take solace in the fact he'll be gone soon.
Good Lord, couldn't she have just said "I was out jogging"?? That makes her sick. Your poor D. Have you talked to her about keeping your daughter awake? I would be furious, still furious on behalf of your daughter. She is an innocent little kid.
Thanks so much for your concern. I decided not to confront W as OM will be going back to Vegas (he lives there) and I dont think they will be sleeping together again anytime soon. Theres nothing I can do now to change the fact that she did that. Im trying not to show my W any anger as I think she is looking for a reaction from me to validate her feelings for OM. If I blow up, it makes it easy for her to say "What a loose canon, thank god Im with OM, he's so cool and calm".
Im going to make this as hard as possible for her to move on, hopefully the fog will lift and she'll see me and all my love.
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
I totally understand you wanting to reign in your emotions. You could always calmly approach her about this and just state what D told you. She might say you were 'fishing' for info from D though. Tough situation. I would be disgusted at this, especially since your D is old enough to know what might be going on.
I know you are working hard at saving your M, and that makes you very strong. Hang in there!
Hurtin.. not sure I agree with you on this one. This is not about you and it's not about her. It's ALL ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER. She does not deserve to be subjected to that. Think about it this way.. would you and your W subject her to that while you were together? Heck no.. that's sick and depraved.
I agree you need to keep a calm tone about it though. A simple "D told me you kept her up all night.. I think it would be best if in the future you either wait till I have her, or be a little more careful about exposing her to that... Thanks"
You know? I would be very curious as to how that would be viewed in a custody hearing. I'm not suggesting anything, but there are lines that need to be drawn and that's one.
Trust me.. if either of my D's encounter something like that, W, OM, W's parents, my L will all know about it quicker than you can say "Huh?"
They are fragile enough as it is.. then that crap. Good lord.
It seems to me that maybe your W is 'getting her own back' for your lack of interest when she tried to reconcile with you earlier. I am not suggesting that it is a conscious thing even, but maybe a bit of a subconscious payback. Just remember that it was when you were hard to get and detached that she wanted you back - that should be some indication of how to play this.
As to your D - well I agree with the others - you will always be her daddy. Once she is old enough to understand the implications of what is happening she will draw her own conclusions. My kids were older when they found out about their dad's A and my second D in particular was very vocal about it. She even phoned the OW and told her her thoughts without my H or I knowing. She was 13 when she did that!!!!
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
