It seems to me that maybe your W is 'getting her own back' for your lack of interest when she tried to reconcile with you earlier. I am not suggesting that it is a conscious thing even, but maybe a bit of a subconscious payback. Just remember that it was when you were hard to get and detached that she wanted you back - that should be some indication of how to play this.
As to your D - well I agree with the others - you will always be her daddy. Once she is old enough to understand the implications of what is happening she will draw her own conclusions. My kids were older when they found out about their dad's A and my second D in particular was very vocal about it. She even phoned the OW and told her her thoughts without my H or I knowing. She was 13 when she did that!!!!
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
