WAW hasn't walked yet, but emotionally dead

[mako]

I hear you about the evenings Brit, it's easy to just sit in the house and do nothing when it's cold and dark. That's usually when I make myself work out as that always makes me feel a little better, or maybe do some reading.

This weekend has been fine as I've been doing things, although I felt a little anxious last night...I went to my cell phone account to add a text message plan, decided to check the minutes usage while there. Noticed that in the past two weeks W has made over 1200 minutes of phone calls...this is way way above normal. This had my mind racing, who is she calling, what is she doing...the actual phone numbers aren't available mid month. So this bit of unintentional snooping hit me hard.

Today I am better. I know that I can't control her and can't worry about what she's doing, so I will stop. I've seen enough on this board about how snooping does no good, either for stopping W from doing whatever, or for my well being. She will do what she will do, my job is to take care of myself and be her friend to the extent she is willing.

I did call her this morning, just to say I hoped her weekend went well and to wish her luck on a freelance job she is starting tomorrow. She didn't answer so I left a message, she hasn't called me back. If she doesn't call back I'll take it as a sign that she doesn't want any contact right now, may be time to really go dark (although considering our M problem was lack of talking and connection total darkness seems counterproductive, I'm not sure right now).