Maybe not too complicated to understand

[Michael Mc C]

Okay, so I suddenly have more time - she just left to go food shopping, I guess she has some discussions to have with him and this will give her the opportunity. So here it is:

I've had the entire week off since we were originally planning on doing Thanksgiving in NC. I was a bit concerned about spending so much "empty" time together with her. It turned out to be a great week.

By the time Thanksgiving rolled around, we had been spending a lot of quality time together talking, playing, flirting. We began kissing again.

On Wednesday evening (night before T-day) she had been in the game and the OM was there. He hadn't been online for a long time. He made some comment to her that pissed her off and she was stewing about it. Regardless, Thursday was a fantastic day. I can't begin to explain how great it felt to be feeling normal again. Despite what she says now, it was real for both of us.

Thursday night, however, she decided to go back into the game to see who was online - we had joked about the really fanatic game players getting online when they should be spending time with family.

Well, she had been drinking and saw him online again. She didn't say anything but apparently some emotional upheaval took place and she had a meltdown. My sister in law was here so they disappeared for a while to talk about. She has SIL for advice which, it seems, she opted not to take.

To end the evening, she asked me NOT to give up on her or our marriage. To be patient and to give her time to work through this. I told her I've been patient already and that I can remain patient.

Friday morning she awoke in a better frame of mind and, although we were both feeling the affects from the night before, we still had a good day together.

Friday night I went to my neighbor's house for a couple of beers and W stayed here playing her game and drinking. By the time I got back she had initiated contact with him, asking why he walked away and stating she needed answers. He told her he walked away for a father and his kids (me and my kids). He has so much love for her but he felt it was the right thing to do.

She told him it doesn't matter since I knew everything already. That I knew how she felt about him and that she missed him. Their love is "real" and they resurrected it that night.

Saturday she went to her mother's house for a couple of hours. I knew she was there to vent and to take the opportunity to talk to him. She was miserable here the rest of the day. She ended up telling me that she can't walk away from him, that she fell in love and she needs to follow it. She is miserable here and needs to do what feels right.

She said that she does not want to leave the house but will do so if it will be easier on me.

This morning she said that she will be meeting him before the end of the year. That he is ready to come up here now so they can meet and talk and get to know each other. Yeah, after 8 hours driving, I'm sure he wants to talk.

A few minutes ago she told me she planned on talking to him today and to firm up plans for when they can get together. This is completely blowing my mind right now. I'm in good shape as far as most of this goes but the sheer stupidity, lack of regard, haste is so sad and pathetic. She's making plans to destroy this marriage and she feels that it's the answer to everything.

So we were thinking about telling the kids that she's moving out. We were going to do it today so that she could be moved by the end of the day. Some of what I read, however, says that dropping it on them like that is no good. "They" say a date should be chosen and then the kids should be informed. A month is too long and a week is too short.

I've never tried doing this the 'right' way. The last time she left we dropped it on them but she ended up spending a big part of the day with them anyway. They were heart-broken when she left still.

Any ideas on how to handle this? I don't know if I can share the house with her once she meets with him. I told her to make her plans and to get back to me.

Final comments on this is that after Friday's talk with him she told me that the days leading up to it were lies. She was trying to "act" normal but she was simply lying to everyone.

When she found out that he had "love" for her it changed everything. She is now hell bent on making this work out. I am so ready to let her throw it away. I know I can't stop her from doing any of this. I just don't know if after the emotional high I had on Thursday and then the crashing emotional disaster that came Friday night that I have it in me anymore.

I'm not a mess right now and I haven't been. I'm just dumb-struck.