Okay, I had another thought. Obviously, our opposite POVs are to some extent due to our opposite FOO situations. My father would have committed Hari-Kari before he would have borrowed money from one of his daughters. If my mother miraculously had $800 cash on hand this morning, I had better call her before she gets to the mall if I want to borrow it. Luckily, my father left my mother with more than adequate pensions rather than cash so I can just ignore her money complaints.
Since my separation, I've been acting a little bit more like my mother and less like my father which has served to swing my self-esteem issues in the other direction. I feel more attractive but less responsible than when I was married. Now that I've resolved my psycho-level-validation issues regarding my attractiveness, I'm striving to find more balance. Maybe you need to do a little of the same/opposite? For instance, I think you should let your father sink or swim because, clearly, on some level you are holding your BF responsible for your father's dysfunction. Worst case scenario, let's say your father ends up in a homeless shelter eating from soup kitchens the reason why that would happen would NOT be "because Corri didn't take care of him". If you lose your SD the reason isn't "because my BF didn't take care of me" the reason might be "because I didn't let my BF take care of me because I don't trust men".
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
