Well, not sure where we are right now, but I know that he is 100% talking to OW, at least on the phone. I have decided to call OW's H this week unless something else occurs. H is sure of 2 things 1) I am seeing someone and 2) I am hiding money and using it for an atty. He told me daily he expects to be served with divorce papers either at work or home. I have defended myself on both of these things, and have stopped. I am growing weary of the accusations.
Last night, I went out with some friends for a birthday party at a bar. Of course, H was invited but didn't attend, because they are yet more people he is pushing away. I had a nice time, but couldn't help to think about what is missing from my life at the moment. I was walking out the door last night and I heard:
D3: Mama looks so pretty, Daddy. H: Yes, she does. Mama is very pretty.
I am sure this was just because D3 said it, so whatever. Its the first compliment I have heard in months. I know its against his 'rules' to compliment me at all.
I am pretty weary of our situation, do not want to be divorced, but do not want this life any longer. I am not afraid to live alone, could do it financially (even without any support from H), and know I could be there for the girls when H isn't around. However, I don't want that. I want to be married to my "old" H, but I suppose I need to realize this might not happen. We can never go back, but I guess its H's choice whether to go into the future together.
