Oh boy. This sounds familiar to me, unfortunately. When I was still living in our home, H would sometimes call me at all hours of the night, sounding like hell and as if he was trying not to cry. Then he would come over and from what you described, would look and act very much like your H. He was hungry, overtired, looking ragged, etc. He'd fall asleep and then leave the next day, just like yours. These visits WERE weird, because they confuse us. I had to learn to not get emotionally wrapped up in them, which was very difficult. Snodderly is right; you should lay down the rules with him that you need your sleep, etc. I did not do that and I should have. What I am saying is that I totally know how you felt waking up seeing him in your room, looking like a walking ad for depression. And I know you want to help him, make him something to eat and hope he feels better. We do what we can, but ultimately even if we did nothing, it wouldn't change this journey they are on. Hugs.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
