WAW staying, I'm leaving to give her space..

[jab]

No, my last drink was a week before she asked for divorce. I did drink on occassion from June-early Oct but NOTHING like before the DUI. (BTW, I didn't wreck the car because I was intoxicated, I was intoxicated when I wrecked the car..there's a difference, but still doesn't make it right). AA is mainly because I need some support to keep myself on track after hearing what she wants to do. Honestly, the drinking due to stress and depression went away in early August. I just didn't feel the need to do that anymore. I told her that not drinking now was a 'piece of cake' mainly because I know now what's at stake, how she really felt about it, and I just don't need to do that anymore now that I have identified the issue. Alternatively, it would have been a piece of cake to just give up and go get drunk the night she dropped the bomb but I'm better than that now and she means more to me than that. I told her if she honestly thought that I chose alcohol over her or that I could never stop, look at the way I am NOW, not THEN. I really am doing that part for myself as well but she still doesn't trust me, she thinks it's temporary. I understand why she thinks that way but it's still frustrating because I know it's not. This will only be cured by time and actions, I guess.

Yes, I agree that the suspicion MAY be insecurity on my part. I still feel that there may be something going on there or maybe it's just my lack of trust in her right now. Like I said though, there is no benefit in me spending energy trying to figure out if there is or not. If there is, she tells me or she doesn't. I'm not going to bring it up again to her unless it becomes blatantly obvious that she's having one.

I am committed to working on myself and giving her some space. I am fully aware I made many mistakes and I am actively working on my own personal issues. (I guess I'll add insecurity to that )

Keep in mind, she is not innocent and has many issues she needs to work on as well. I've realized lately that it's not me who can address her problems, that will have to be left up to her and counseling to resolve. I just need to give her some space, work on myself, GAL, be supportive and positive, and not give up. It's all I can do right now I guess.