Their visit reminded me why I moved out. It's the first time we've spent so much time together since my wedding 8 years ago...and that wasn't the greatest thing either.
My mom is all up in my nooks and crannies...and the two of them are SOOOOOOOOO negative, it literally made me sick. No, really, the longer they went on, the sicker I got. Headache, throat sore, congestion...and, now, 10-hours after they've left, I'm completely back to health. Hmmm.....
They judge everyone they see, and I defy anyone to find any topic which they couldn't turn around into something horrible. People, there's not only no water in the glass, if there ever *had* been, it was probably poisoned.
I have to think on this a bit...because my husband and I are physically and mentally drained from their visit. I won't put myself through this again...no way can they come stay with us again...so the only thing I can think of is to go back and visit and do it completely on our terms like we usually do--stay in a hotel, visit 1-2 times.
Sad? Yes. But I couldn't find any compassion I felt so bombarded by negative energy...I've been away from that oppressive environment for so long that this felt awful. Blecch.
So many other things...my mom got drunk at Thanksgiving dinner (we had a blended T-day with my BIL and his gfriend's family...first time we'd met her family)...my mom repeated herself over and over...followed me EVERYWHERE...while I was clean up (it was FIL's house, FIL was out of town and let us use it), my mom exclaims loudly and repeatedly, "I can't believe my daughter's cleaning up!" NOT ONE MOMENT OF SILENCE AT ANY TIME WE WERE TOGETHER. NONE. No guidance on what they'd like to see in town, and not seeming very pleased about where we took them. Day after T-day I come upstairs and say I feel like cr*p, Dad says, "Why, did you get drunk (I didn't...I could have driven) last night?" and my mom says, "I hardly had anything to drink last night."
And so much more. It was excruciating. Our R works much, much better from a distance....
Sorry to just complain, but it's part of getting back into a good place. Gonna journal the heck out of it and keep reaching for a better feeling until I can get back into gratitude.
BLECH!!!
Hope everyone's turkey day was splendid!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
