NEWBIES ! Hope - list of restored marriages !

[Treese]

LIN.....yea, patience is not in my vocabulary so I'm guessing this is a lesson I'm meant to learn. I really am a different person than I was in June. Things just don't bother me as much. Maybe because I am so consumed in trying to "fix" this. I am a fixer and not being able to do so is driving me nuts. I cry soooooo much. I am on meds and in C but my H doesn't want anything to do with C. He says he doesn't need anyone to tell him how he feels. He knows how he feels and they can't change his mind. He's not in love anymore and why do I keep asking. I quit asking. Only hurting myself but I don't learn these lessons until I've hurt MYSELF. I want him to hurt like I do. Iknow that's not right but geez, this is the most God awful hurt anyone can endure. The pain is sometimes almost unbearable.

I haven't called him, emailed him but sometimes I question his whereabouts. Working on that one. I want him to think I don't care. He doesn't care what I do so I have to try and act like I don't care either. Yea, he even wants me to go find someone else because "I'd be happier". Thanks but I made a commitment to him and I'm going to do my best to stay that way.

Anyway, today I'm so so. Tomorrow may be a different story. Looking at all his clothes packed and ready to go is killing me. DOes he enjoy holding that over our heads. My d15 is crushed and hates to see the suitcase packed. Is it better to have them in the house or out? I wish someone could knock him over the head and knock some sense in to him. He's being a self-centered jerk but in his eyes hes the same person he was he's just being "honest" now.

Thanks for the words of wisdom. Hugs! Treese