Great news Val...now the real work begins...check out the stories on piecing and prepare yourself... Is it worth it?...YOU BET IT IS...things are improving for us and I am so much more settled now...we are planning a romantic anniversary vacation to Hawaii in a few months...well as romantic as I can make it anyway...H still has some issues in that arena...but I will keep him anyway!!!
Hawaii? Lin, if you need someone to carry you and your Hs luggage, let me know. I can be the anniversary couple's personal valet everywhere you go especially the beach, luaus, horseback riding, you name it.
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
Val, Great to hear from you! That just goes to show you how crazy these MLCers can get... they literally lose their ability to think rationally. And they have to work through their craziness on their own.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
This is an inspirational topic that offers much encouagement. Thanks to all of you for sharing.
One thing though, I see a lot of husbands coming back to the marriage, but not a lot of wives. Is there a message in this?
Me: 39 WAW: 40 S10, D7, S6 Bomb #1 - 12-24-06: Move out (ILYBNILWY - admitted '05 PA) Move back: 3-2-07 (W: I still want to be married to you) Bomb # 2 - 4-11-07: (W: Can't do this - never loved you) Move out again: 4-29-07 Dark: 6-8-07
Just my opinion is that I think women usually leave for very different reasons then men...and they tend to be more sure of their decision before making the exit...maybe less confusion...unless of course it is true MLC for them...but I do think this is less the case with most women who walk...
Where men I think act more on impulse...more likely to get caught up in an A without a lot of forethought...
I guess this might sound sexist but men and women think differently...so it would stand to reason that their reasons for leaving a marriage are different...
I hope someday I can be here to post my save. At the moment I don't have any hope. I love my husband so much but he seems to be withdrawing from me more and more everyday. I am scared to be alone. He says he needs to leave that he has thought it all through (I'm sure his OW is helping) and will never regret his decision. So I guess I need to get pissed and let it go, but how? I am so in love with him that it is consuming my life. I cry all the time and my kids are so upset. We are a family and I believe in family and my marriage but he doesn't. He says he loves me but he's not "IN LOVE" what the heck is in love after 29 years together. I have never withheld sex from him and up til JUne we were having sex 3x a week. I just don't get it, but he says its been years in the making that all these years of unhappiness has gotten him to where he is today, wanting a divorce. Wow. I'm so lost. I don't know where to start. He lies to me non stop and I told him but he says, "aaawhat... are you talking about" LIE> Help!!!
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Treese...your story is very similar to my own...right down to the ages except H and I married younger so had been married a few years longer...although not together...we started dating when I was 15...
All I can tell you is you are more ahead then I was...my H didn't even have any "love" for me...he felt NOTHING...how is that for a blow after being together for so long...
My recommendation is to leave him alone...try and get a hold of your feelings as best you can...create your own life...DB your butt off!!!...It will get easier...but will warn you that you need to work on you...work on patience...and focus on taking care of you and the kids as best you can at this difficult time...
My H went through a MLC...it started about 2 years before he left...and continued for another 2 years while he was gone and 2 more year after his return....so all in all it has been a 7 year process...patience is not only a vurtue it is a MUST!
I think i am leaving him alone - I think I am doing what I am suppose to.
I dont know where in the MLC my h is. The depression is obviouslly very very heavy right now. His suicide attempt in hte summer was the biggest eye openner. Since then it has been on and off - all depending on circumstances around him.
Please tell me what YOU DID right...my counselor believes that marriages can be saved..he knows of this db techniques and has seen them work.
What have I been doing right? I dont even know. I dont call, dont email and dont text. When he comes over to pickup D11 I am civil and nice- even offered to work with him outside of mediation so we could come up with an agreement to take to our lawyers.
I got an "im sorry for having all these issues and for hurting you..." email in October - late October. Since then nothing. he is in full throttle mode with the ow.
please help me.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
NOthing significant really happened. Just a few birthday parties for the kids and my eyes were so swollen from crying I had to lie to my parents and say I had allergies. Horrible. i will never forget that day. MLC or not, no one deserves those words after 29 years. I'm trying to DB but it is sooooo hard. I can't get him out of my mind. I miss him so much. I miss his hugs and his hands holding mine. Sad.
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
