GGG- What it means to me.

[Kettricken]

You may be absolutely right, and I'm dealing with a sample size of one. But I'm gonna lay my one on you anyhow.

I'm supposed to be making minestrone, so this will be the short version.

My husband grew up in a *very* touch-deprived environment. Well, it was a-lot-of-things deprived, but that was one of the biggies. Example: the first time he could ever remember getting a hug from his mother was on our wedding day.

I didn't see this as a problem; I had enough touch-power and affection for two, as far as I could tell, and he loved to touch and be touched (duh, right; we were in love and he was 20). I'd be the one to help him make up for lost time. Right ....

I have to point out that *now*, after 17 years of marriage and a *lot* of heartache, he is really trying to change his programming on this. But his *default* when stressed, unhappy, sick or just plain distracted by other interests is to draw away physically. To the point, at times, where he would actually recoil subtly from my touch. He certainly didn't initiate. I didn't realize for years the damage that was doing *me*, because I was stuffing my feelings and trying to be a good little soldier. But it *sucked*.

Excuse my ignorance of your backstory .... but didn't you just get out of a marriage with a man who didn't want to touch you and craved your cow?

All I'm saying is .... IMHO ... with his history .... once the novelty wears off .... don't assume that the bunkey will keep getting petted so satisfactorily......