Thanks Sandi for checking in on me. I was so busy yesterday I didn't have 2 seconds to even get on here. We had a good portion of dh's family here and I did most of the cooking.
You know, it was a good and tough day at the same time. Dh acted like himself. Like the man I married. He was helpful, sweet, affectionate and nobody would ever know he had this other life. I wouldn't even suspect if I hadn't snooped. Its amazing. There were times I actually forgot he was still contacting OW.
How do they do that? I think that if I were trying to juggle 2 women I would be a nervous wreck. He even left his phone in the room and I checked it a few times during the day and there was nothing from her.
We have a houseful of family for the rest of the weekend so I am going to give him the letter after they leave. Its hard for me as I feel myself weakening. But have to remind myself this isn't reality.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I know it will be hard and it is normal to feel yourself weaken when he is acting like the man you fell in love with. But it is only a show for his family. If only he would act like that from now on and get rid of the OW! I don't know how he does it.....I couldn't is only one of the reasons why I had to make a decision between my H or the OM. I would have had a nervous breakdown.
Well, stay tough and I still believe he will respect you even though he may get mad or act hurt.....any number of reactions. Be prepared for anything. Maybe he will finally come to his senses, but don't get your hopes up.
We are here when you need us.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Been a busy weekend. But its been good. Like I said above, I wish dh can stay this way. His family is leaving tonight, so I imagine things will go back to normal. He has really had a good weekend. He is always so happy when his family is around and he is good to me then as well. Something happens I guess when they leave and he has to face reality again.
Yesterday I ventured out shopping with 2 of my sil's for a few hours. He told me to go and have fun, ILY, etc. He kept texting me asking when I would be home. My first thought was oh he is going to see OW!! That sinking feeling came back. When I got home he was just finishing putting together this dresser we ordered for the baby. He was so proud and it melted my heart. I could see he wanted my kudos and approval. Affection, touch, etc. was never his love language. Its the words of affermation. Mine are affection and quality time. He kept saying all night how hard that dresser was to put together and took him 3 1/2 hours. He seems truly happy.
But......now the weekend is coming to a close. I wish OW would just disappear from his and my mind and go away. I wonder if he has talked to her? His phone has been sitting in plain view all weekend and he is not hiding it like he normally does when she is in the picture.
We will see what happens after about 7 tonight when they all leave.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
What does your H say when you bring up the fact of how different he is and how much nicer and loving toward you he is when his family if around? Do you feel that it is all for their benifit or do you think he actually is feeling what he is acting out?
Regarding the phone, I bet the OW was gone out of town visiting for the holiday and he knew there would be no calls. In fact, they probably discussed that before hand, that way, he could be laid back and relaxed not worried their would be an unexpected call while his family was there.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
You know when I make comments to him about being nice and interested sometimes and then not others, he just gives me an excuse that he is overwhelmed with life....yeah, aren't we all?
I am not sure why he is so happy and sweet when his family is here. Maybe because they are all coupled up and have families and he wants to feel like one of them. Not sure.
The family left a few hours ago and he is still here!! Amazing. We got into a bit of a tiff earlier. Not bad but it was about my 'stalker' and how I think its OW. He is mad because I am not considering it possibly being someone from my own life. There is not one soul in my life that would give a crap enough and OW is psycho.That led to another discussion where I said there is no room for 3 of us in this relationship and he said that me and baby is all that matters. Yeah, we will see.
I know OW is in town this weekend. I have passed her on the road a few times. Life in a small town. I am sure she has done a few drivebys.....wonder what she thinks?
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Well, the weekend is gone and things are returning to normal. I put all my Thanksgiving stuff away and am wore out. Dh was here since Thursday. He went home just a few hours ago. It was sort of wierd. I got used to having him here again. Like old times. It was hard to see him go. He has been texting since he left though thanking me for a great Thanksgiving and how happy he is.
I really wish he would stay this way. This is the time where I start to feel insecure and panicky. When he is around I don't feel that way for some reason.
Busy week ahead. Hopefully I won't think about it too much.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Jak.....no I haven't given him the letter. I wished I would have now last week before the great weekend. Now I have lost my nerve.
I did hear something interesting today though. Love the small town gossip rumor mill. A good friend of mine is good friends with OW's good friend...she told her that OW was upset last week because my dh told OW that he wasn't going to have more contact as it was wrong even as friends and was causing issues between he and I. She played it to this friend that I was a b*** because they are just friends and I was being psycho and paranoid. She also said that she felt betrayed by dh because they had been 'friends' for so long and I have screwed it up. Whatever.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
