I'm just trying to justify a good reason to wear my Yosemite Sam outfit and use the word "varmint".
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Would you or someone straighten this out: Am I totally off-base or doesn't the LL concept mean that your LL is the one you habitually use to EXPRESS your love AS WELL AS the one in which you want love expressed to you?
It's that emphasis/nuance thing that tends to rear its warty head in many a (so often male/female) conversation. Not that this ever happens to NOP and me - :blink blink:. I think you and DOM are both right, just a different focus.
As a self-help book, the goal is (has it right there in the title on the book cover) "How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate". That's the emphasis DOM is underlining. Some excerpts from the book:
"The important thing is to speak the love language of your spouse." DOM's point and one he seems to think you aren't getting or making of enough import.
"My conclusion after twenty years of marriage counseling is that there are basically five emotional love languages - five ways people speak and understand emotional love." <...> "The children who feel loved by their parents and peers will develop a primary emotional love language based on their unique psychological makeup and the way their parents and other significant persons expressed love to them. They will speak and understand one primary love language." Your point that DOM thinks is in error? or is being overemphasized.
So, you both speak and receive via love languages.
It is important to know how your spouse can receive/hear your love. It is also important to understand how your spouse expresses love so that you can receive their love even when it's not in the shape you prefer. To not understand it will result in massive destruction in the relationship.
Spouse's expressing love languages that aren't understood by the other spouse will often be viewed negatively and it will actually destroy love feelings:
Love expressed by sex & physical touch - "I'm nothing to you but a way to get your rocks off, you don't care for me at all as a person and you're always pawing me."
Love expressed by acts of service - "She fills her life with meaningless chores and would rather scrub the toilet than spend time with me."
Love expressed by affirmative words - "He's always trying to butter me up and saying bull$hit things that he doesn't mean."
Love expressed by quality time - "I can never get away from her, she follows me from room to room, wants me to sit next to her on the couch hour after hour and tries to control me every time I try to do something with my friends."
Love expressed by gifts - "He never talks to me and treats me like a prostitute he can buy with trinkets and widgets."
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I need to put a piece of adhesive tape on my good leg with a note that says: "Not this one. The other one." just to make sure they "fix" the correct ankle. When you're asleep, they can do anything to you
Tape can be removed. I would also suggest a water-proof Sharpie mark with arrow, star and the words "THIS is the right one" on the other leg. When are you scheduled for the procedure?
