Wow MCC... I have to say that I really feel your pain man. I read your whole situation and it sounds almost identical to what happened to me... Only in my situation my wife's game was World of Warcraft not Everquest... my wife finally took off 1/2 the country away to move in with the kid.. haven't heard from her since.
I am still fighting for my marriage even though there is pretty much nothing I can do now, but I do sincerely wish you the best in your situation too.
Me - 24 WAW - 23 Bomb - 8/25/07 My Situation Explained Here