And, on occasion, that would feel great for me too, but if two weeks went by and we hadn't, I wouldn't be furious and resentful like he gets. So that's really what I mean about him placing too much emphasis on it.
That's an easy mistake to fall into, but it is one made from an uninformed view. Bear in mind that I've looked from that mountaintop myself. You're expecting him to have the same feelings toward sex that you do and you are judging him for failing to act and be like you.
I can also tell you that until you work on changing your attitude that he is placing too much emphasis on sex, little is going to change, except for a progressive worsening of your marriage until it dies and/or one or both of you have an affair. You don't get to decide and judge what is important to him. You don't get to look down on him for wanting what he wants. Can you see that with your attitude of "he places too much emphasis on sex" that there is going to be an underlying "whiff" coming from you that is going to stink to him?
Beyond hospitalization, death, chronic unrelenting disease, and other things in that vein - there is really little true justification for avoiding sex with your husband for 2 weeks. How important do you think he feels he is to you if folding clothes, tv shows, nights out with the girls, phone calls, painting cabinets, washing dishes. etc. are placed in a higher position for your time and energy than he is? Imagine, "She would rather mop floors than make love to me."
He's not here, you are. So, you're the one who gets the suggestions and encouragement to do the right thing whether or not he's making it easy for you. We'll take it a bite at a time.
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Also, I'm more happy with it being "boring" sex most of the time, oral is great for both of us, but I don't think we need toys/porno/marathon sessions, etc., on a regular basis, but might be ok on an occasional basis.
If two weeks can go by without sex, then what are you calling "a regular basis"? Have you ever tried to set up scheduled sex? Have you in recent years/months had sex at least say, 2 times a week, every week for an extended period of time? If you were having sex on a regular basis so that he isn't operating under drought conditions, do you think he would tend to be less inclined to push for a mega-session every time?
