Seperated

[Dom R]

We are going to counselling, second counsellor - first was a disaster felt more like divorce counselling. I am going to counselling to try repair our marriage and he is going so he can make an informed decision about whether to divorce or not.

Right now, he's incapable of making a rational, informed decision. He's on a hormone induced "high", of infatuation with this new woman.

He has surrounded himself with bachelor friends and younger girls.

Hmm.. and maybe with a touch of MLC thrown in for taste.



I'm sorry you're going through this.
One month after he moved out, it's about the worst time.
Hang in there. Try not to be "reactive". Stay as calm as you can manage,and realize that if you want to save your marriage, you probably have a long, difficult battle ahead of you. at least a few months.

To go with the DB mantra of "go with what works, stop what doesnt work"...

lets see what is working and not working:

He no longer phones or sends texts, he does not even talk to me when he visits d. He has completely shut me off. when we do speak he just gets angry with me and blames me for this happening.

Maybe your immediate short-term goal, should be to not try to talk to him for a few weeks. and try to avoid arguing.
[which is not the same as AGREEING with everything he says. just, try to avoid arguing over things, perhaps?]
Seems like talking to him, is definately on the list of "doesnt work", for right now.


PS: two more things:

- please post more details about you two. and,
- dont try to give him any books or stuff like that, right now.

doesnt sound like he's in any frame of mind to rationally read anything right now. it would only aggravate him more.