On the 13 October my h informed me that he loves me but is no longer in love with me! 16 years together in total - 5 years married and a 9 month old baby. And then came the needing space. So many lies before this. I believed all the going to work early and working late excuses. Totally out of character for him to lie. He then left 2 days later and we have been separated since. Why did I not see the obvious signs???? Hiding the cellphone, strange working hours, obsession with girl at work - because I trusted him. Since all of this I have discovered that he had been smsing her before and after work and all weekend. I went through the world ending feeling...why me?...this happens with other guys not mine etc. He replaced me before he left me. Problem is he is not admitting anything other than he feels nothing for me. He no longer phones or sends texts, he does not even talk to me when he visits d. He has completely shut me off. when we do speak he just gets angry with me and blames me for this happening.This is the hardest thing I have ever experienced in my life. I don't even know where he is staying. I read divorce busting and would love to give him the section on illusions leading to dis-solutions but I don't know if he would even read it. We are going to counselling, second counsellor - first was a disaster felt more like divorce counselling. I am going to counselling to try repair our marriage and he is going so he can make an informed decision about whether to divorce or not. Two months ago he pretended to be happy and we were planning our lives together and now he has gone. I don't want to lose him but I already have.
The waiting is the most painful part. I know no one who is divorced and have only married friends which makes it harder because everywhere I look are couples. He has surrounded himself with bachelor friends and younger girls. Please any advice would be great to help make me stronger. I have surprised myself that I can actually survive without him but it is still a hard journey.
