Yesterday was extremely hard for me. First time in 16 years that I wasnt with my W on Thanksgiving. The reason for that is because she was having Thanksgiving at her house with OM and our D. :-(
I really struggled all day with obsessive thoughts. Spent alot of time on the computer trying to learn about affairs. I just couldnt let it go. Finally went to bed at 12:30am with the help of a sleeping pill, without that I wouldnt have slept at all.
This morning W called and asked what time we are exchanging her today. We agreed on 12pm and I also asked if she could bring D's math flash cards as I wanted D to practice math this weekend. She said ok and I thanked her. I sounded upbeat and like I was doing ok. Truth is that Im Hurtin4certain.
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
I just picked up my D and she told me about W new bf. HE is younger than her, from Las Vegas and will be staying with them for a while.
D told me that W told him to sleep downstairs in the extra bedroom but that she snuck him up to her room after D went to bed. D said she couldnt sleep because her Mothers bed was shaking all night!!!!!
OMG People! THis pain is too much for me! Please help me with some words of encouragement.
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
Not sure what others will say, but I would have to confront her about that.. not because she's sleeping with him, but the fact that they kept your D up.
For God's sake go downstairs to the spare bedroom. In my sitch, I would definitely confront her and him. No excuse for that.
Maybe you should ask W about what your D said. It's not like you were asking for the info. I would approach it as "Hey.. D said XYZ.. are these things true.. if so, do we need to make different arrangements with D? I'm not comfortable.. yadda yadda yadda."
Man.. that sucks. There is no easy way to deal with the physical. You just have to get bye it. One thing that kind of helped me was thinking.. "Well.. she wasn't a virgin when we met, this is really not that different"
Of course it is different, but that's what helped me mentally.
Spend time with your D.. focus on her and forget about this other trash for now. I know it's not easy, but you can do it.
Oh that's terrible and I would call her on it. Disgusting what they will do with their own kids in the same house. I am so sorry about your Thanksgiving.
So..after learning of my W bf... come to find out, he lives in Vegas. Whats destroying me is that W and I were dating 2 months ago. We were a family again. Holding hands, hugging, kissing and ML. Why would she choose a guy (thats totally opposite of the type of guys she been attracted to) over a chance at reconciliation with me?
OM is leaving back to Vegas this weekend. Is there any chance they could sustain a long distance relationship?
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
(((((Hurtin))))) I'm so sorry that your daughter had to witness all of this. Unreal how the WAS thinks about no one but their ownselves, not even their children!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Rough night. I couldnt sleep at all, even with a sleeping pill. OM is going back to Vegas either today or tomorrow and he spent the night at W's house. Im certain they were up all night having sex as I have my D for the weekend. THe images in my mind are TORTURE, I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy.
Im in so much pain, spent alot of yesterday crying and worrying that my W has moved on and no longer wants me.
Looking back on the past 2 months, I now see the telltale signs of OM. W was really depressed (IM sure she felt torn between OM and I).
She kept telling me she was starting to resent me for how things didnt work out a year ago when she was really pursuing me. I think she was just trying to validate in her own mind that the OM is a better choice. HE is totally opposite of the type of guy she goes for.
WHat should I do? Go dark? Call her sometimes to see how she's doing (she has stopped contact with me)? Try to be her friend?
Any advice is much appreciated. Hurtin.
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
Hurtin, I wish I could give you good advice, but I don't feel like the one that can do that. Just know that I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I do have one piece of advice though, if you're not on AD's please get on them. They made all the worlds of different for me. I was just like you, I had a horrible time of trying to function without them. Please think of what it does to your DD when Daddy is so sad. Believe me I know how difficult it is, but they are children and we have to be as strong as we can for them.
Lots of Hugs sent your way.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Im just journaling. Got my behind back in church tonight with D. It gave me a sense of warmth, God truly loves us and wants us to be happy. Even though I wished my wife was there sitting next to me, it was nice to sing songs of praise with my D. She is such a little trooper. She been sad about W having a new bf. I told her that no matter what happens, daddy will always be here, always be her father and I will never leave her.
W's bf is going back to Vegas sometime this weekend. Im hopeful that a long distance A cant ever turn into anything meaningful.
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
Church is such a peaceful, centered place, even if someone isn't that religious. It helps me every week. When I hear them asking for prayers for others in need, I try to remind myself that I am blessed for so many reasons.
I know your week has been pretty devastating. Hopefully this week will get better for you. I hurt for your D, give her tons of hugs.
