Divorced but CANNOT "move on": Urgent Help Needed!

[Just_Me]

Anyone who has read my posts will notice that I have been rather ambivalent (at best) about accepting all the advice I receive at face value. Some of the "old-timers" here don't try to hide their disdain that I still "don't get it". But, as you mentioned, there are many other strategies, philosophies, and perspectives with the same goal of reconciling wrecked marriages. Some of these are more in line with my Christian roots, and therefore have radically different values and assumptions about the significance and purpose of marriage than those provided on DB.com.

Maybe, if many months pass and I find myself still "unhappily unmarried", I will become more open-minded (less skeptical) about accepting anything I'm told, no matter how counter-intuitive. Until then, I'm too inexperienced/stubborn to rule out other reputable resources--including the Holy Bible! [Oh well, there goes any semblance of "intelligence" or "rational thought" I might have earned in some people's minds.]

Actually, I think it's more like you have been resistent to taking any advice. Yes, there are other strategies and perhaps you should practice those. But you are on a DBing website, and so you should expect to get that kind of advice. If you want Christian advice, then there is probably a different website of likeminded individuals.

I'm not exactly sure why you are even here. Were you hoping that people would say, "yes DMW, you are the bomb and of course there is no one in the world better suited for your wife than you"? Maybe her new "best friends" actually listen to her. Maybe her new best friends don't think they know what is best for her.

Don't hold your breath waiting for advice when you are more receptive. You will probably have alienated everyone that tried to help you by then. I've given you my speel already so there is no point in further wasting your time, or mine, on further advice that you will be quick to point out doesn't apply to your situation.

I do wonder how many veterans of the message boards (not necessarily those who respond directly to me, by the way) are still divorced? Or are separated, but now dating someone other than their spouses?

Most of them. And there is a very good chance that you will remain that way also. That's just the odds. You've been given advice that may increase your odds, and from my perspective, the most important is for you to change some of your behaviors and attitudes. If some of the superiority and controlling stuff becomes obvious to us from your writing, it isn't difficult to imagine how it may have gotten old for your ex-wife.