Why can't I do this....

[Dom R]

So I am such an dummy. Somehow, during the TG preparation W and I had sex. Long story, but she roped me in and I took the bait. In fact we did it 2x pretty quickly and then she told me that was it forever. Man I have been hearing that a lot lately, but she still pulls me back in.

What the heck do I do now, did I screw up all of my DB'ing for a romp in the hay? She had said that it was just physical and that she wants an emotional connection with someone... not me.

HF:

get over yourself.
get off the rollercoaster

most people's spouses do NOT have a sudden, miraculous, quick, "ok, I'm completely happy and committed to you now!" revelation moment. it happens sometimes. but it is not the norm.

what is more common, is that there is a LONG PERIOD, of them being undecided, going back and forth, saying nice things one day, bad things the next.
It's a rollercoaster. it goes up, it goes down. expect the down. dont think it's the end of the world.

expressing regret/negative after sex, is also fairly common. IF you dont want to deal with THAT sudden up/down... then dont have sex in the future.

for now... .just get over it, and keep trying.
if you're going to give up every time your wife says, "it's over",. then just give up now.

Otherwise, pick yourself up off the floor, and decide to keep trying for some number of months, reguardless of what negatives she says during that time.

She has a lot of bad memories to overcome with you, ya?
that's not going to go away in a week. or a month.

pull yourself together, keep trying, and see what another day or two of positive treatment of her brings you.