Thanks for the feedback and support. My S is doing very well. I've been blessed with two wonderful children. He sleeps well and gives me 5 to 6 hours between feeds at night. In fact I'm getting more sleep now that I was in the weeks before his birth (after the bomb dropped). He is my angel and both my S & D are my daily inspiration to keep going. I want to give them the family they deserve and I want them to have their father healthy and well.
This sounds weird, but it feels so good to hear other people say how messed he must be. I some how find it comforting to know that this is happening because he is messed up...that makes more sense than it's just happening because he doesn't love me anymore.
That's why I'm so grateful for this forum. Seeing how scripted his behavours have been up until now and seeing the direction it is going helps me to keep faith that he/we will eventually push through it. I find myself (as I see many others doing) trying to figure out the timelines and I know that is not possible. Does anybody know much about Replay and the progression to the awakening? Does the awakening require triggers as the initial crisis does? If so, what would some of those be?
I thought the birth of his son would trigger something, but he's in fact gotten worse. He just seems so taken by the OW, I believe that she is pulling his strings and he believes he is so in love with her he's going to go along w/ whatever she says.
He was somewhat civil this morning when he picked up D for school. Didn't project the crazy anger he has been. It's amazing that is my positive for the day..."he was somewhat civil"! I caught him this morning while holding our S staring off in space...I wish I could have read his mind. I want to believe that at least sometimes he's questioning himself. Time and patience...that's what it needs. J~
